Dealing with Medical Problems

During the tenure of your marriage you may have to face a number of problems. One of the major problems that you are expected to tackle is the sickness of your spouse or any injuries due to accidents. The illness could be major, minor or chronic. Injuries may cause disability of the spouse. You will get strained depending on how severe is the medical problem.  Even small illnesses could disrupt your daily life; if your spouse has chronic sickness the problem lingers on for a long period due to which marital relationship becomes strained.

In case your spouse is affected by long term illness of serious nature there is a complete change in your life. Under normal circumstances, each of the spouses agrees to undertake certain responsibilities and roles in the household. In the event of one person becoming sick the total responsibilities and roles are handled by one individual who is not sick. This means that he/ she has to take the extra burden. This person gets drained physically and emotionally which he will find difficult to handle. Above all you find it distressing to see that your spouse with whom you had pleasant relationship suddenly starts struggling with illness.

There will be a huge impact in the couple’s married life due to such sickness; unless both husband and wife maintain a right attitude life becomes miserable. In order to ensure that your bond remains strong it is essential that you have a proper plan of action for solving it just like solving other marital problems. It is very rare that a spouse abandons a sick husband/ wife; however, it is possible that the couple distances themselves over a long period due to this; this also will interfere with their normal daily living. Since you have to shoulder the total household responsibilities including those handled by your spouse you become tired physically and mentally.

Healthy Attitudes

Anybody can get affected by sickness or injury; the long term illness could be affecting you instead of your spouse. You must keep in mind these possibilities and behave in a sympathetic manner towards your spouse. You should realize that medical problems are similar to a lottery. To counter such medical exigencies it is essential that you develop a financial contingency plan before either of you are affected by sickness or injury. Normally people put off financial preparation for long term illness.  In case you have not provided for such long term illness expenses you should allocate such expense once your spouse becomes chronically sick. This means that you should review your monthly income and expenditure and make changes to include sickness expenses.

Irrespective of the fact that you love your spouse deeply it is quite difficult to be a caretaker for your sick spouse. Both of you have taken the following vow at the time of your marriage.

"To have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness or in health, to love and to cherish 'till death do us part."

All of us are humans and are physically vulnerable. The first person you depend for support, love and affection in this period is your spouse.  You should be emotionally strong, patient and understanding as a caretaker for your spouse.

Both of you should keep healthy attitudes about your marriage, relationship and the effect of illness on your life. You may have to make a number of changes in your married life if your spouse is sick for a long period of time. With right attitude you will find that such adjustments are easy to handle. Some suggestions are as follows.

	Spend more quality time with your spouse at home
	Express your true feelings towards her
	Persuade your spouse to share their feelings on sickness and marriage
	Sick spouse should be involved as much as possible in household activities handled before the illness
	Show a lot of love and caring every day

It is quite difficult to take care of a sick spouse. In case your family is prepared to assist you it is advisable to take such help if your spouse is having a long term illness. One thing for sure; you need breaks periodically to counter the emotional turmoil a sickness can cause. 

Don't Forget About Your Needs

In case you have decided to become the caretaker of your spouse on a long term basis you should not make the mistake of neglecting your needs continuously. Sometimes you may have to consider your needs first otherwise your life will be miserable. You should look at your feelings under the changed environment of having a sick spouse. You must think about the marriage, sickness and your increased responsibility and the effect of these on your feelings. If you take time for yourself it will help in your staying physically and mentally healthy.

Overstraining will affect your functioning and this is neither good for you or to your spouse on a long term basis. Hence you should take time off and go out of the home sometimes for having dinner with friends or family. Proper communication with your spouse will help you in dealing with any medical problem. The bond of a marriage becomes extremely strong if both spouses communicate regularly and honestly.